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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?